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Merrell Wood: Civility

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Vivian Moon View Drop Down
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    Posted: Oct 09 2009 at 11:17am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Middletown News Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2009 at 5:14pm
Merrell Wood: What happened to civility?

When I grew up, if someone did something nice, I was taught to acknowledge their effort with a “thank you.” The same was true about remembering to say “you’re welcome” when they acknowledged something nice I did for them.
However, over the years, much has changed. Today’s most common reply to “thank you” is either nothing, “uh huh,” or “no problem.” I’m not sure what the last one means but I would guess it’s something like “it wasn’t too inconvenient to do that for you.”
If the recent display of one artist’s disrespect for another at the Video Music Awards or the loss of professional discipline by a competitor at the U.S. Open women’s tennis finals is any indicator of how well we control our personal behavior, it may be time for a reassessment of our conduct with each other.
I’m not claiming that a lack of manners will soon bring down civilization, but it does have something to do with demonstrating civility with our fellow man.
What does treating people with respect have to do with civility? It’s the concept of decency and maturity that many of us too often leave behind in the public domain, not to mention the private.
Another factor in the decline of public dialogue may stem from the great variety of options we have to communicate with each other. Not only by cell phone, but on the Internet with MySpace, Facebook and my favorite, Twitter.
During the past decade, as our use of the Internet has exploded, so has the ability for anyone to “blog” anonymously. For example, at the end of this column, you can “sound off” about its content — good, bad or ugly — and, if you prefer, no one will ever know who you are. It’s quite an empowering notion.
Beyond the Internet’s unique benefit to our society, or as a handy tool to attack someone, it also affords us the ability to immerse ourselves in anonymous “discussion” without ever encountering a differing opinion. After reading something particularly partisan, it’s easy to convince myself that my way of thinking is the only one that any intelligent person could reasonably believe.
From there, it’s a simple leap to the notion that anyone who disagrees with me is an idiot and I’m justified in hurling insults, rather than engaging in conversation and considering their position.
On a similar note, the expansive and divergent nature of our talk radio and television news sources allow people of all political persuasions to immerse themselves in an ocean of like-minded reporting and analysis. A diffused media is a double-edged sword: It permits more viewpoints to be heard, but it also fosters polarization, since it enables people to get their news primarily from sources that share their beliefs. This selective saturation of information leaves us convinced that we are right and incredulous at the notion that others do not see the world as we do; hence the angry polarization of our nation’s political conversation.
Last but not least is the rise of reality TV, where all too often the participants recognize no boundaries. They’re encouraged to say whatever comes to their minds and be as sensational as possible to keep the audience involved. That form of behavior often translates into viewers acting in the same fashion and example begets example. People become more comfortable being aggressive, rude and “in your face.” Unfortunately, this behavior easily can carry over into everyday life, and many would say our national calling card has become aggression. It may be effective on an individual basis, but disastrous to the life of the community upon which individual survival and prosperity ultimately rest.
How can we change this situation? The solution is obvious. It means “doing unto others as you would have done unto you.” Ever heard that before? I know it’s a cliché, but it works.
It means understanding that educating our children is perhaps the most important job in the world, and that those who undertake this task must undertake it to the best of their ability.
It means wanting to be of service, not only to yourself and your family, but to your community and nation as a whole.
It means wanting unity and harmony to prevail, knowing that disunity and strife are not the answers. It’s really simple if we take just a moment to think about it.
Merrell Wood is the founder of Middletown Habitat for Humanity, TV Middletown and the Sink Or Swim pool campaign.
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VietVet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote VietVet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 10:16am
Civility went out the window years ago with the polarization of the country in areas such as politics, sports, school supporters versus non-supporters- anywhere there is competition. There is no such thing as "friendly dialogue" when it involves debate. People just don't like to have another's opinion or idea crammed down their throat, especially when the idea involves taking away rights (gun ownership for example) or abortion ( to save or not save an unwanted child). A classic example of a town bordering on in-civility is Middletown. We have the 2nd Ward contingent wanting their voice heard, we have the suspected MMF select few power people in town against the rest of us as to direction of this town and the suspected hidden agendas. We have city leaders not listening to the people who are excluded from city business. All of this causes incivility, frustration and sometimes violence. We started the breakaway from civility in the 60's with the riots, the burning of college campus buildings, the protests of the Vietnam War. We broke away from the "Ozzie and Harriet- Leave it to Beaver- gee Wally" innocent days long ago. In a way, I wish politeness and civility were still with us. In a way, I'm glad it is gone because now, people won't just roll over and play dead for the government and other authority figures that we use to fear years ago. JMO through experience living in the times.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lrisner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 10 2009 at 2:21pm
It is the culmination of the "Me" generation which is rooted in Dr Spock's nonsensical Book of nearly 50 years ago.

I saw it front and center at AK when the new Hires (most often younger people) seemed to have a really hard time taking orders. They always wanted to know "why?''. "Because I said so" was my reply  most times. They would actually think that in 30 days they had a very complicated process figured out and I should stay listening to them. Well, I wasn't able to listen to them and maybe get someone killed, so most of the time I just hurt their feelings.I had kids of similar age at home but never had to deal with such disrespect as I was a "mean" Dad.

And Damn proud of it!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote VietVet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 11 2009 at 8:06am
Perhaps some mandatory military bootcamp after high school would help these young people who seem to have all the answers and who seem to have a "medical condition" with the ears resulting in them not being able to listen and take instruction. I've observed several "know-it-alls" and hardliners being reduced to a "yes sir"/ "no sir" type of behavior in just a few short weeks! Seems being placed in a hard core, no-win, intimidating environment works wonders as to bad attitudes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Vivian Moon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 11 2009 at 9:27am
Vet
Do you remember years ago when these out of control young boys showed up in the court room of Judge Combs he told them "Uncle Sam Needs You". You will enlist within the next 7 days or go directly to jail. When they came home from boot camp they were calling everyone Sir...LOL Yep that sure changed their attitudes in a hurry.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hermes Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 11 2009 at 11:26am
Originally posted by VietVet VietVet wrote:

Perhaps some mandatory military bootcamp after high school would help these young people who seem to have all the answers and who seem to have a "medical condition" with the ears resulting in them not being able to listen and take instruction. I've observed several "know-it-alls" and hardliners being reduced to a "yes sir"/ "no sir" type of behavior in just a few short weeks! Seems being placed in a hard core, no-win, intimidating environment works wonders as to bad attitudes.
 
 
I agree and second the motion !!! All students on graduation day will board the bus immediately to basic training in the armed forces of their choice. There will be no washouts,no failures,no excuses. If you fail to complete the designated courses in the alloted time frame you will recycle until you complete the requirement. You will lose weight,get in shape and get your mind right !  You will then return home for a two week furlough where you will demonstrate to your parents and elders that you are and will remain a human being !! Big%20smile
No more democrats no more republicans,vote Constitution Party !!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote VietVet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 11 2009 at 2:40pm
Agree Hermes- there are residuals beside correcting "misguided" attitudes. It also teaches one organizational skills and making decisions on your own without relying on mommy and daddy taking care of things for you and teaches the repercussions of making bad decisions/ rewards of making good decisions. If they stay in long enough, they may even be trained and get experience in a career field that can be put to use after they leave the military. Doesn't sound like a bad idea to me. Alot of good points and few negatives and the country keeps a rotating stock of personnel to man the branches of the service on an on-going basis. The Russians do this, don't they? How about the Chinese? Won't hurt a thing other than delaying those who want to jump directly from high school to college. Could mean a two year delay there although the government could offer some tuition assistance for that two years of service to cushion the delay.
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