State of the City? Or a fairy tale?

That was how Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr. began his second “State of the City” speech on Tuesday, March 10, 2009. I said to myself: “Self--this is great, he’s focusing right in on the problems!!”

Then our esteemed Mayor began recognizing people. It seemed like he recognized everyone in City hall or the county government building-- everyone except the regular old citizens that is, the heart of our city, and what will be the backbone of any solution to our problems.

He spent a lot of time, and breath, passing out kudos to council members (especially to Marconi and Armbruster for their work to “monitor the use of the public safety levy funds.” Where did that $2.5 MILLION go during the past year??? I realize that some went for raises, but wasn‘t that less than half a million???)

All of that “patting on the back” took a while, but I understand that everyone needs a little encouragement and praise now and then. Next, Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr, began talking about the Council’s “retreat.” And Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr. even stated:

“We will be listening to you, so that we better understand the choices you want us to make.”

But wait!!! My joy was short-lived, as next he breaks into some of the same old, tired rhetoric.

He did throw in ONE new thing: Now that BBQ Junction is closed, we will begin enforcing the sign ordinance! Perhaps Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr. will put “Honest Dave” Schiavone at the head of that subcommittee.

Then Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr. gave out a few awards. Kudos to the teens, and I mean that sincerely!!!

Next, Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr. told us what “Looking forward into 2009, we must understand as a city”:

Okay, Mr. Mayor, Your Honor, Sir, I am listening. Please go on.

Oh, pahLEEEESE, Larry--(Can I call you “Larry”, as I would before you were elected mayor and lost touch with reality?)--a good many of us can take MORE “steps back” than you can!! We KNOW what is “right” with our city! We are VERY aware of the “good points” of our city!!! But, Larry, the “good things” don’t need fixing!!! It’s the PROBLEMS, Larry!!! It’s the BAD things!!! They are what need our, and YOUR attention!!! The PROBLEMS must be solved, Larry!!! When you “step back to look”, Larry, look at the BAD things, and try to figure out WHAT CAUSED THE PROBLEMS, Larry!! Perhaps then you will have some insight to the SOLUTIONS, Larry. Obsessing on “bread and circuses” will get us nowhere, Larry!!!

Excuse my brief lapse into familiarity, Mr. Mayor, Your Honor, Sir. I meant no disrespect. Please go on. And he did:

Mr. Mayor, Your Honor, Sir, YES!!! These are all wonderful events and sponsored by great organizations and the folks that do the work are all top-notch people, there is NO doubt about it!!! I really mean that!!! Many people enjoy these events and they DO indeed contribute to the “quality of life” in our fair city, especially the youth sports. They bring the ENTIRE city together, not just an elite few. We all are aware of this. We all “get it”!

Once again, all wonderful events and sponsored by good organizations and the folks that do the work are all good people, there is no doubt about it. I mean that. Many people enjoy these events and they do contribute to the “quality of life” in our fair city. Rather esoteric, but good things nonetheless, so the patrons of such events must get used to staging them with NO help from public funds. We all are aware of this. We all “get it”!

But there are obviously some things that you do not “get”. We cannot count on such activities to cure our ills or solve our problems!! Mr. Mayor, you and your colleagues don’t “get” that.

This is NOT a “zero sum game”. Mr. Mayor, you and your colleagues don’t “get” that.

Each “Good or positive” thing does NOT cancel out a problem or negative thing. Mr. Mayor, you and your colleagues don’t “get” that.

No matter how many more Art Walks or Broad Street Bashes or similar events we hold, not one mile of street will be paved. Mr. Mayor, you and your “cheerleaders” don’t “get” that.

No matter how many championships the Bombers win or how many more youth games we organize, not one more police substation or fire station will be obtained. Mr. Mayor, you and your “sunshine-pumpers” don’t “get” that.

No matter how many holiday parades we hold, no matter how much hot chocolate or how many free hot dogs we give away, not one more multi-million dollar monthly payroll will be brought to our city. Mr. Mayor, you and your “good news only” friends don’t “get” that.

Next I guess the Mayor thinks he shared with us his “plan”:

HUH??? But Your Highness, if everything is wonderful, why do we need a “comeback”??? You are confusing us…or perhaps it is YOU who is confused? Regardless, please continue:

Great idea!!! Of course, we’ve heard this before and it was all HOGWASH!!!

Oh, I see. They don’t really want any input to help “solve the problems”! They just want some more folks to hear and accept the propaganda that NOTHING is wrong! Mr. Mayor, if you are just going to “ focus on the positive things” , why do you want or need new or different ideas? Can’t you “get it”? The “positive things” do NOT need changing! It is the NEGATIVES, the PROBLEMS that must be attacked with vigor if we are to prosper!!! PLEASE get a clue!!!

And I’m sure that, just as Hizzonner Schiavone did last year, There will be council members who can’t wait to SQUANDER it on “positive things” rather than use it to fix problems!! (Ooops…there I go being “negative” again!! I forgot that we don’t have any “problems”. Please excuse the interruption, and continue, Your Eminence!)

Excuse me, Your Leap-to-false-conclusions-ness??? What was the projected population projection change for Middletown, Mr. Mayor, your Honor, Sir? Please speak with your mother about the old “if A, then B…” thing. How does it go? Let’s see? The populations of Butler County and Warren County are expected to increase. Middletown is in Butler and Warren Counties. Therefore Middletown’s population is expected to increase? Nope! I don’t think that’s quite how it works, especially with the 166 families (10% of the Section 8s) that we are supposed to lose to attrition in the next 12 months! But don’t let me rain on your parade. Keep speech-ifying, Your Faulty Logic-ship:

Yes, they do construct “new facilities where the population is growing”, Your Blindness. So did you notice that those new facilities have been and are being constructed as far east as possible and still be inside the City of Middletown on the land that we taxpayers GAVE them, and annexed into the city as they began building? And did you notice that the “new facilities” are also located closer to Springboro, Monroe, Lebanon, Mason, and other communities that actually are both growing and projecting growth, than they were on McKnight??? You know the Communities to which I refer, Mr. Mayor. They are the communities with which Atrium has already formed partnerships and in which Atrium has invested money.

Mayor Mulligan began winding up his speech by quoting President Obama:

Yes--that is what I have been trying to tell you!!! Yet you and your associates are continually telling us to “Stop looking back!” and you refuse to identify those mistakes so that we can correct them, and insure that we don’t repeat them.

In closing, I must go back to the beginning--the beginning of Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr.’s speech, that is! Within the very first few lines of his speech, our mayor stated:

But our mayor never did state what that “bright future” was, why he believes this “bright future” exists, who is going to lead us into this “bright future”, when this “bright future” will shine upon us, nor did he give us any hints at all of any specific plans about how we are going to get to this “bright future“ (except to reference a non-existent road repair plan allegedly prepared by Council members Becker, Scott-Jones and Marconi’s “Street Improvement Committee”).

Nothing but some vague reference to “magic”!

I’m sorry Mr. Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr., Your Honor, Sir, but you cannot simply state an OPINION, and expect your minions to accept it as fact based solely on your word, with absolutely no backup, citation of source, plan or thought whatsoever as to how the “magic beans” will be obtained, sown, cultivated, harvested, and transformed into a “golden goose”!

Beware, Mayor Lawrence P. Mulligan, Jr.! When you chop down that magic beanstalk, the “giant” comes a-crashing down from high above.

I hope that no one is left standing underneath him when he lands.