Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?
Printed From: MiddletownUSA.com
Category: Outside World
Forum Name: News, Info and Happenings outside Middletown
Forum Description: It might be happening outside Middletown, but it affects us here at home.
URL: http://www.middletownusa.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=694
Printed Date: May 28 2024 at 8:50pm
Topic: Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?
Posted By: John Beagle
Subject: Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?
Date Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:22am
This joke was just emailed to me and I thought it was quite funny.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The
chicken wanted change.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: Let's give a big shoutout for that chicken!
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right
from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken
is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before
adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see
it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much
more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: How did I miss one?
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http://www.johnbeagle.com/" rel="nofollow - John Beagle
Middletown USA
News of, for and by the people of Middletown, Ohio.
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Replies:
Posted By: spiderjohn
Date Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:32am
Posted By: HereIam
Date Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 3:08pm
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Somebody really gave that a lot of thought - Really Funny!
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Posted By: Mike_Presta
Date Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 4:22pm
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The road was in Middletown, and the "red light camera" caught the chicken falling into a bottomless pothole, thus inspiring one of our illustriuos politicians to state: "Elect me mayor, and I promise a chicken in every pothole!"
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Posted By: HereIam
Date Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 5:33pm
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Good one Mike - Made Me Laught Out Loud!
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